yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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