3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
