I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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