When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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