You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
