You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
