its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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