I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
