So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
be right there i have to get my cape
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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