My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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