Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
