It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
