11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
