Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
