It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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