this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
