Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Drunk is not a location!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
