my being single is dangerous.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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