Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
