He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
now i know why i became what i already was.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
