I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He? As in you personified your dick?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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