just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
