I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
