I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
