I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I pour the whiskey from now on
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
