"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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