She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
