If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
