i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
