Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
