Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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