yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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