Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
