idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
