"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
