Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
