the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
