another moral hangover. fuck.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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