You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
