i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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