am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
