listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
