That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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