Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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