38 yer olds are good kisserssss
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You did what with his pubic hair?
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