Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
