You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
as a side note pls kill me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
