You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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