guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
