you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
