My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
