I'm gonna have a badass scar
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
