i need an iv and a liver transplant
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
